Thursday, 7 June 2007

Why Cheat? ( Thoughts from a Bitter Ex GF) Wink

Cheating!!! Cheating!!! I hate this word, I hate it with passion. I keep asking myself why do I get cheated most of the time. I never cheated on someone because its not right. I have been faithful in every relationships that I had. But I can't help asking myself why do I always have to be with someone who cant help themselves but go gaga over somebody else's M**gE. Can't keep them to poke and poke to any slimy holes available. I felt so worthless and so insecure about everything ( who wouldn't if you're in my situation ). It's not like I haven't given much effort for the relationship to work well. I have given my all- love, devotion, trust, care, affection, and sex and more sex, name it and I did give every inch of it. I was so stupid of giving up my life and had it revolve on someone devious. But anyway, I have accepted everything and I am starting to move on. I am not saying that I have given up on men. I still have faith on a few who can be faithful and respect a monogamous relationship. Its just happen that I wasn't that lucky but the consolation I did get from all of it is " I have learned and I know what I want in a relationship". And I know that I am not the only person who have been through in this situation there are millions out there. There's always reasons that made them cheat on me. But its not going to justify what they did. Its still wrong to hurt someone. Now I do careless, it's all bullocks anyway. Right now all I want is to love my self more and try to mend my brokenheart.

For the ladies out there I have an article for you guys:

Cheating Husbands and Cheating Wives Give Different Reasons for
Having Extramarital Affairs
© 2005 by Ruth House

The latest infidelity studies indicate that percentage-wise the gap is closing between cheating husbands in comparison to the percentage of cheating wives. However, even though more men are now becoming victims of infidelity, the fact still remains that 70% of infidelity victims are women. What’s interesting though, is that men and women who are cheating on their spouses give different reasons to justify their extramarital affairs.

The Top Reasons Men and Women Cheat

The top 3 reasons men cheat all relate to sex. However sex is not usually the motivating factor for cheating wives. The top 3 reasons women cheat relate to unmet emotional needs or a desire for attention. Listed below are the most common reasons cheating husbands and cheating wives use to justify their extramarital affairs:

Why Men Cheat

The most frequently cited reasons for infidelity among men include
• more sex (the desire for a more active sex life)
• sexual variety (a desire for different kinds of sex)
• opportunistic sex ( taking advantage of an opportunity to have sex without the fear of getting caught)
• to satisfy sexual curiosity (about a specific female)
• a feeling of entitlement (the belief that it’s a man’s prerogative to cheat)
• the “thrill of the chase”
• the desire to feel important or special
• sexual addiction
Why Women Cheat
The reasons most frequently cited for female infidelity include
• a desire for emotional closeness and intimacy (someone caring to confide in and bond with on an emotional level)
• a desire for attention (wanting be the center of a man’s attention again)
• to reaffirm her desirability (To feel validated as a woman)
• to re-experience feelings of romance
• a desire to feel “special”
• boredom
• loneliness
• sexual excitement

Men Cheat for Sexual Reasons, Women Cheat for Emotional Reasons
Granted, these are not the only reasons men and women cheat. There are other reasons as well. But the bottom line is that men are cheating on their wives primarily for sexual reasons, while women are cheating on their husbands mainly for emotional reasons. But these are the reasons most frequently given by cheating husbands and cheating wives who are willing to discuss their extramarital affairs.
Numerous studies on infidelity bear that out. In one study, 75% to 80% of the men who admitted to having extramarital affairs said that sex was the primary reason. Only 20% of the women who were having extramarital affairs said they did so for purely sexual reasons.
How More Marriages Could be Saved
The most amazing thing about the studies is that the majority of infidelity victims (70% of married women and 54% of married men) have no idea their spouse is having an extramarital affair. In another study, 60% of the people who admitted that they were cheating, said their partner did not know about their affair. This leads me to conclude that if more people knew how to recognize the warning signs of infidelity, more marriages could be saved. The first step to solving a problem is knowing that the problem exists.


ladyracs said...

Hi there Abby, I just finished reading your 1st I understand a little bit what you mean... I really feel for you, pagka gwapa raba nimo oi, unya mo cheat lang sila.... Ayaw basula imong sarili kay basta mga cheaters gani, mangita gyud na paagi na masatify ilang sarili... You really deserved to be loved and respected not to be cheated...

It really happened to my oldest sister too, twice gyud, maayo gani wa pa kay anak, ako sis duha gyud, gipangbiyaan lang sya, nga but-an raba sa akong igsoon and can be a very good and loving mother and wife....

Tama ng ingon nimo, the first thing is to accept the situation, and then move on.... don't ever blame youself and don't give up hope..

I read all the reasons you posted about cheating spouses, tama gyud na....ang duha sab ka igsoon sa akong bana same thing, mga cheaters ilang bana, sila pa gyud ang himoon guilty..... nga tungod, ing-ani, tungod ing-ana....para lang ijustify ilang mga binuhatan....mga devios gyud bitaw.. Mas maayo pa bitaw usahay nga nakabalo samtang sayo pa, usahay mas magmalipayon pa noon kung magbulagay.

Ang usa nako ka sis-in-law, nagdevorce gyud sila, mas happy pa noon sya, life can be so miserable with a cheating husband....Ang usa nga nagpabilin, gusto isave ang kaminyuon, na miserably na noon samot iyang kinabuhi kay naa sila mga anak, makakita nga mag-away sila ug dapatan pa gyud sya usahay...Kasubo makakita ang mga anak ug manghilak oi... sya pa gyud ang hadlukon nga kung biyaan sya, mahayan gyud niya... murag iyang ginahadlok nga patyon or unsa ba... Kaning mga cheaters usahay, di raba gusto i devorce sa asawa gusto ra gihapon nila i keep ilang asawa, lalo na good wives, way mga batasan... So samantalang naa pa kay chance dae Abby, ikaw nalang mismo mohawa... unya paabot lang, naa gyud nay moaabot kalipay para nimo, but-an raba sab ka...

Sige, sorry nataas na noon akong comments, just like you I HATE CHEAYERS gyud....even watching the cheaters show on TV, nagabukal gyud akong dugo nila, tungod sab nahitabo man sa akong mga minahal sa kinabuhi...

Just keep yourself busy dae Abby, accept the fact, he's a cheater, you don't deserve that.!!!!

ladyracs said...

Ay sorry, I HATE CHEATERS diay, always gyud mali ko mo type, always nagadali...

TC,Happy weekend and Gobles you..